Quick Bit

Thou shall not perish due to lack of Knowledge…

TAKE

People used to take drugs, but now they do drugs.
Some people don't do drugs, they do lunch.
Instead of taking drugs, some others take meetings. 
They used to have meetings, but now, instead of having meetings, they have relationships.
Now there are some people who don't do drugs but have a relationship, and will take a meeting while they do lunch.

Hell is made up of the 'Single' People Around You

I have a very good friend, and until recently we both shared in an odd but satisfying hobby:

Feeling our lonely hearts with meaningless one night stand(s). Thankfully, he has just bagged himself a girlfriend, and a cool one at that. But seeing as he has very good manners and in order not to make me feel bad about my continued exclusion from the dating world, he is trying very hard not to gloat about it.

BOOGERS

Don’t you just hate bad habits?
We’ve all got a few
We wish we didn’t, but Oh well we just do!
Mine is picking my nose...

COINCIDENCE

THE LOO
I never wash my hands after using a public rest room, unless something gets on me while being there. Otherwise, I figure I'm as clean as when I walked in, so I patiently wait by the door until someone else walks in so I don't touch the door handle. Can u imagine how many poorly washed hands that must have gripped that handle?

WHAT WE TALKING ABOUT???

Have you ever started a "short cut"? No one seems willing to do this. We don’t mind using existing short cuts, but we rarely start one. Infact who started the one you frequently use?

PACKET SHIRT

Do you know that if you’re sentenced to death they have to give you one last meal of your choice?

What is that all about? A group of people plan to kill you

BUT!...

....they want you to eat something you like before dying, is this a joke?

Scars for Life!

Man has always been fascinated by body decoration, or as I would like to call it; self mutilating act.

It started out with “OPEN TEETH”
Once upon a time, people lived in an era where having an OPEN TEETH was considered a beautiful thing and as such, females went to get their front teeth chiselled and they were charged heavily for such…. “hey! Check out my OPEN TEETH! It’s big enough to suck 10 periwinkles at once!

MASTURBATION

Often times I reminisce about my adolescent days when masturbation/wanking was the order of the day. I had a wank station as I'll like to call it. I'm talking pears baby lotion, a stack of LOVERS magazine, a comfortable chair and not forgetting the star of the show; a Star tissue paper. Yes at the age of 14, one could say I was pretty serious about my wank sessions. Some days I had "lift off" without even counting down!

THE YELLOW MENANCE

You know, everyone nowadays has a cell phone.

It's like their lives orbit around that rectangular piece of steel...and it's not even a sphere!

I can’t disagree though…I’m one of those people that just can’t part with their phone even at gun point.

Every few minutes I’ll be checking my phone…..

 Oh look!

I have…zero missed calls, zero new texts, zero Pings, zero mentions from Twitter and the Facebook frontier couldn’t be any more blue than it is….

Venus Vs Mars

Venus Vs Mars

They say women are from Venus and men are from Mars….

Why are Men and Women so different?

Letter To Me

Sometimes, I wish I could write a letter to me and send it back in time to myself when I was 18.

Thoughts run wild

These are some of the things I think about when I'm sitting all alone at home and when PHCN has ran out of fuel....

If something in the future is cancelled, what is cancelled? What has

really happened? Something that didn't occur yet is now never going

to occur at all. Does that qualify as an event? 

NEWS PAPER

 Newspaper *laughs* the name alone seems funny to me.


Isn't it amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always seems to fit exactly in the newspaper? So your telling me the recent happenings from the North, East, West & South can be covered in just a thin sheet of paper?

Life Is Short

 

Life is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average lifespan is a mere 5-14days!
I headed out to my backyard in search of a butterfly who would have a special insight to know about my short existence.

The Pursuit of Happiness

#1: Be nice to everyone even if you don’t want to be kind or respectful, or they are not just nice to you. That way you’re not dragged down to their level and besides nothing pisses off an arrogant prick more than people being nice to them.

Welcome note

Writing a blog is tasking, you can sit there and stare at the screen and hope for words to magically appear, believe me, I did that for weeks and to my surprise not one word even appeared. Suddenly all this talk about writing a blog is making me feel overwhelmed. I need to take a break excuse me…. Ok! I'm back, I went to brush my teeth, just the three of them and by the way, that’s an excellent way to kill time. There are many blogs already, what can I possibly say that would be read by millions? Oh ok, possibly thousands of people… ok realistically just hundreds of people. Perhaps your reading this to get a never before insight of who I am as a person, if so, here’s a good one for you right of the top of my brain; if anyone knows me at all, they would know I love the smell of hot akara in the morning! Or perhaps you’re hoping to learn a thing or two but I have no brand new words to put in here unless you count “GEEZEGOES” and between me and you, that’s a made up word. I’ve been interested in the deeper meaning of this existence (LIFE) for a long time and I assume we all are judging from the kind of tweets, blogs and websites lately, we are all getting aware and that’s a beautiful thing. I suppose, I can put down my own ideas for what I think is the key happiness that is if you’re interested. Oh you are? Ok then…stick around it would be life changing