MASTURBATION

Often times I reminisce about my adolescent days when masturbation/wanking was the order of the day. I had a wank station as I'll like to call it. I'm talking pears baby lotion, a stack of LOVERS magazine, a comfortable chair and not forgetting the star of the show; a Star tissue paper. Yes at the age of 14, one could say I was pretty serious about my wank sessions. Some days I had "lift off" without even counting down!




By now u prolly close this blog thinking who the hell is this jerk off!?! Yea right! Like you've never wanked in your life?! I see wanking as a ritual all teenage boys go thru that's why we have wet dreams.

Come to think of it, who were we really "doing it" with in our wet dreams? If I can remember, I could hardly recollect the face of who I knacked in my dreams that could make ℳe cum in my sleep!

I bet it was my guardian angel who by the way is a female; Anne. Anne has voluptuous breast which matches her thick curves, a white & pink feathery wings that sprouted from gold plated armored shoulder blades and she has fairy powdery face just like Beauty who fell in love with a Beast!

Beauty was an OKPO! The story of Beauty and the Beast is still the same story that goes on today.... a pretty young lady forsakes a younger and finer man to marry an old looking beast simply because he has money....sad but one of the cruel realities of life.





Anyways, back to wet dreams... Wet dreams were so annoying cos all I could remember was the bright light that woke me up with a certain warmth in my groin area and a look of disgust of "oooh fuck! Not again! See what conji made me do!"

We all know that look, it happens either after you wank or after you hand over 5k to a prostitute on a Saturday morning after a wild Friday night. But why complain, YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE!!! *YOLO* so does the half baked puerile slogan goes....

Talking about 5k, I can only imagine the look on a prostitute's face who misplaced her 5k note after an all night marathon. *priceless*
I bet she'll really feel fucked!

How can our Nation be considering producing a 5k note in this challenging times?
Why not focus on job creation, agriculture or even the basics, power. Noooo... they are more concerned about easier ways of looting the Nation's money. Tell ℳe, which average Nigerian is willing to carry coins in a Nation where there's no vending machine(s) which by the way works only if there's power?





Tell me, which average Nigerian is willing to carry coins when they are fully aware that our politicians are stuffing 5k notes into Ghana-Must-Go everyday! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!


Yes a country CAN review their currency in every 8yrs but that doesn't mean you should print a new one every 2nd tenure? Who's fooling who?

Well all I can say is that, I don't have the power to end the process, but I sure have the power to know where I stand, and I choose to stand beside the owner of the biggest Ghana-Must-Go bag! GBAM!!!