Cat & Dog

We need new zodiac signs. 

The old ones depict an obsolete world; the Archer ♐ (Sagittarius), the Sea-goat♑ (Capricorn), and talking about obsolete the Virgin ♍ (Virgo).

 When last did you meet one that was above 16 years? Yea I thought so... and now 13 year old girls are getting married? We need modern zodiac signs that represent today's reality:   The Paedophile, The Raged Politician , The Suicide Bomber, The 419, The Deeply Religious Non Beliver, The Paranoid Bus Conductor, The Ever Pressing Phone Junke, The Runz Girl, The Gee Boi, The Money Launderer, The Unhappy Civil Servant, 

The Human Immunodeficiency Virus, and ... The Pussy Lover!

Talking about pussy,  I recently got a pussy. I call her Lucy. 

It’s the first time I’ve ever gotten a pussy. I heard they are independent unlike dogs, so I decided to give it a try. Dogs like having a bath. 

My last dog was a female, Wendy. Wendy died while I was washing her. I don’t think it was the detergent or bleach I used that killed the bitch.

 I think it was when the washing machine got to the spin cycle.

She couldn't handle the swirls and turns of the vibrating machine.

 So sad the female dog had to die that way, maybe if I get another, I’ll spin her slowly…but don't dogs love speed?
Isn’t that why they stick their head out the window of a speeding car?

Or maybe they just love licking air? Damn! I should have strapped Wendy to a fan! 

All those big industrial fans! I bet  she would have loved that…Oh well! This time, I’m going to be very careful with Lucy, that's the name of my new pussy cat.
I heard cats like fish...  I’m going to take her scuba diving! I bet Lucy would love that. But wait, I also heard cats don’t like to get wet.

Hmmm…here I go again, always hearing things...
Let me get it straight, pussies love fish but they don’t like to get their purs wet. 

Well I guess I could get Lucy a water bed full of fishes.

 I said I would be more careful with Lucy didn't I???

 *evil laugh*